How to create safety from within?
- Martyna Bajer
- Oct 14
- 3 min read
You might not always find peace in the world around you. The solution is to CREATE it!
Today, I feel called to share something a little more personal with you. My hope is that it offers a spark of inspiration, especially if you're moving through a challenging or uncertain time. Because truthfully, what I’m about to share touches something essential in all of our healing journeys :)
"How can you lead such a chaotic life?"
I’ve been asked this question many times by friends, usually followed by, “I could never live like you,” which, I won’t lie, sometimes makes me question my choices too!
The truth is... My life is far from conventional.
I don't really have good contact with my family. I left "home" quite early to study abroad at a boarding school in England, and later moved to the Netherlands for university. My soul has always been drawn to expansion before the familiar (especially when the familiar didn’t feel safe to begin with).
I don't have a "stable" home. Tenerife is my base, but I don’t have one fixed place where all my belongings are. Because of my partner’s tax situation, we can’t stay in Spain for more than six months a year, so we spend half the year moving and creating temporary homes elsewhere. That’s something we hope to change soon, either by settling in Tenerife permanently or moving to Cyprus (yep, I’m definitely an island girl and can’t imagine it any other way 🌴).
I don't have a predictable job. I’m not made for the 9-to-5 world. I tried it - and felt trapped, unhappy and disconnected. My rebellious, freedom-loving spirit just couldn’t shape life around work. So I did the opposite: I shaped my work around my life. I do what I love and feel incredibly grateful every day, but of course, it comes without sick leave, a pension, or any real predictability.
I don’t own much either, just a couple of suitcases filled with clothes, books, and herbs. No home décor collection. No overflowing wardrobe. Maybe that will change once I settle next year, but right now, I don’t feel the need to own 100 outfits or 20 pairs of shoes.
And yet - despite the messiness, the movement, the uncertainty - I’ve learned to find calm and peace from within. It hasn’t been easy, and it’s still a process...
But I’d love to share the practices that helped me get here!
CONNECTING WITH NATURE
Absolute number 1 for me! I don't mean just walks, but real presence: barefoot on the earth, watching the ocean breathe, listening to birdsong instead of podcasts, swimming in cold water... Nature reminds me of something my mind forgets: that I belong, no matter where I am. Nature doesn't know boundaries, language barriers and political separations, it just is.
DAILY ROUTINES
Whether through warm food, slow mornings, oiling my body, or simply taking three deep breaths while feeling my feet on the ground, I am giving my nervous system rhythm. And this rhythm brings me safety.
SITTING WITH MY EMOTIONS
When waves of fear, loneliness, or overwhelm come, I stop running and distracting myself with socializing. I sit with the and, witness them. I personally love this song, a beautiful reminder of the important of this practise.
RECONNECTING WITH MY INNER CHILD
The part of me that felt unsafe growing up still shows up sometimes. Now, I don’t silence her. I listen and talk to her gently. I let her know that adult me is here now, and we’re safe.
"I AM SAFE" TAPPING METHOD
Tapping on specific points while repeating “I am safe” has been incredibly calming. It might seem simple, but when done consistently, it rewires your body’s fear response and teaches you that safety can be felt, not just thought.
Where is the link to Ayurveda and healing here?
You can have the most stable job, a beautiful home, and all the right supplements... But if your inner world feels like chaos, true healing won’t take root.
Ayurveda teaches us that real healing starts with creating harmony within. Even if your outer life looks “secure,” it’s your inner sense of safety: Your relationship with your body, your thoughts, your emotions - that determines whether your nervous system can relax enough to restore and heal.
Your life can't digest food if you can't digest life.
Your skin can't protect you if you can't protect yourself.
Your liver can't detox if you are holding on to toxic emotions.
Your intestines can't release if you can't let go of control.
Your thyroid can't function if you are afraid to speak your truth.
Your nervous system uses symptoms to point out what needs to change both internally and externally. And that is why holistic approaches to healing are so powerful!
Are you ready to create safwty from within and heal through it?
